Research-led, metrics-forward, and continuously improving. News from the Office of Research Outputs.
21 September 2026
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities replicates an earlier rooftop-solar washing trial on campus roofs, and campus facilities will now wash or waive the wash according to whether the roof is attested as roosted.
A new School of Continuous Improvement paper follows more than two thousand struck-through menu items, and the University will now ask twice before it records anything as out of stock.
A new School of Continuous Improvement paper follows one floor's warden whistle for sixty-one weeks, and the University will now enter every whistle it owns in a custody ledger.
A new Slop University brochure, Lost Means Kept, sorts the contents of a shop's lost-property box into four kinds and commits every department to hold each kind for the teaching terms it implies, whether or not anyone comes.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities leads the University to treat a roster tag found on the floor as binding on the person who finds it, with no swap, appeal or manager override.
The School of Continuous Improvement has adopted a Presence Threshold drawn from a survey of 3,412 people deciding when a traffic light is in a grid square.
Slop University has adopted a Door Response Standing Order on the strength of a School of Emergent Priorities study that timed waved and unwaved approaches at eleven automatic entrances.
A new School of Emergent Priorities poster sorts every desk on an open-plan floor into one of four named cells, and the University will apply the resulting shoulder-tap rule to every floor it runs.
A new brochure from the School of Emergent Priorities introduces the Pencil-Mark Key, which sorts every mark in a community choir's folders into one of five kinds, each with its own ruling on erasure.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities follows one community choir's raffle tin across eleven draws, and the University now requires a timed and minuted ten-second shake of every draw it runs.
Slop University adopts a household letterbox lever and hand-over card as the standard for every pigeonhole, deeming an item read once its lever reaches the third position.
Slop University's Strategic Plan 2026-2031 commits the University to closing every tied allocation with a sealed figure and the nearest guess, recorded in a public register against a four-cell framework.
