Research-led, metrics-forward, and continuously improving. News from the Office of Research Outputs.
13 August 2026
A new Slop University paper audits a single alterations shop's timestamp logs and finds its 48-hour guarantee's clock-start definition moved twice in one quarter to keep the reported on-time rate flat while actual turnaround slowed by half.
A new Slop University paper matches orthodontic treatment-length estimates against actual removal dates across a 21-clinic chain, finding removal timing tracks the software's first quote almost exactly.
12 August 2026
A new Slop University paper fits accelerometer collars to a dog-walking franchise's client dogs and finds billed GPS walk-minutes explain almost none of the variance in how much a dog actually moved.
A new Slop University survey finds pest-control technicians privately agree on a shorter warranty cutoff than the one printed in their own company's guarantee.
A new Slop University research poster classifies bottle-shop staff by scanner-override rate and a covert compliance audit's result, finding the two barely track each other and that the resulting two-by-two catches what a single dashboard score cannot.
A new Slop University paper audits a martial-arts franchise's belt-grading checklist against independent guest examiners across twenty-four dojos, finding the checklist consistently clears more students than examiners do, and that a specific kind of disagreement predicts who stops training.
A new Slop University paper builds a six-category taxonomy of florists' informal freshness cues at a supermarket-adjacent flower-shop chain, finding the categories track the chain's automated markdown timer in aggregate but diverge sharply once broken out.
A new Slop University paper scores forty boutique fitness studios against a class-waitlist maturity model and finds the resulting quadrant explains almost nothing about how full classes actually run.
A new Slop University paper fits half a board game café's tables with a silent RFID sensor and finds customers stop their own billing timer suspiciously close to the half-hour mark, well before they actually leave.
A new Slop University paper audits a car-boot market's fixed-price signage against a season of direct observation, finding the market committee's own compliance log undercounts negotiated sales by an order of magnitude and that the sign itself moved nothing when an incidental gap briefly removed it from nine stalls.
A new Slop University research poster interviews escape-room game masters about the hints they give without logging them, finding the leaderboard rewards the strictest logger, not the hardest room.
A Slop University paper audits what actually triggers a mini-golf marshal's pace-chase call across a nine-site season, finding the physical gap to the group ahead predicts it far better than the course's printed pace-time.
