Research-led, metrics-forward, and continuously improving. News from the Office of Research Outputs.
17 July 2026
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement logs 39,092 hall calls before and after a KPI-driven door-close delay cut, finding redundant button presses spike, then decay toward a rate still above baseline.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities audits every game on a common-room shelf against its self-certified completeness card, finding certified-complete games still missing pieces at close to the same rate as games with no card at all.
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement cross-references a sports oval's floodlight motion-sensor extension log against an independent nightly closing observation, finding a lingering player confirmed only 46% of the time.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities interviews loading-dock staff and delivery couriers, finding the hand-signal protocol that actually sequences trucks at the roller door rarely matches what the advance-booking system forecasts.
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement independently manipulates a hand dryer's boost-relay wiring and indicator light, finding how long hands linger under the airflow tracks the light rather than measured drying power.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities audits 1,140 campus motor-pool bookings, finding the deposit tier a driver is actually charged tracks the desk's written risk rubric only while the key board is quiet.
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement codes 438 spare-key sign-out slips into a seven-category taxonomy of stated reasons, finding the category predicts little about checkout duration compared with how specifically the reason is written.
A new research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement finds median sauna session length and peak occupancy unchanged after a swipe-logged app timer replaced the gym's honesty-based flip-card, following a safety scare.
16 July 2026
Slop University has published a research-showcase brochure, The Check Behind the Tick, tying four published studies to its habit of checking a declaration or a log against what actually happened.
A new paper from the School of Emergent Priorities reconstructs the Parking Office's priority-tier score against 227 manually reinstated permits over a full academic year, finding staff log most reversals as a score revision even when an independent recomputation shows the score never changed.
A new research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement compares wait times for a free washer before and after a residence-hall laundry-booking cap, finding the cap's benefit largely disappears in halls that also absorbed this year's larger move-in cohort.
A new paper from the School of Emergent Priorities audits the campus welcome desk's self-logged "resolved on first ask" rate against an independent same-day survey, finding the two measures share almost no signal even after a script revision meant to close the gap.
