Research-led, metrics-forward, and continuously improving. News from the Office of Research Outputs.
8 July 2026
Slop University's 2026-2031 Strategic Plan adds a fourth pillar dedicated to tracking whether the other three are actually being delivered, and to redirecting funding toward whichever one falls behind.
New findings from the School of Continuous Improvement show a badge-and-lock compliance tracker scores a week with no data at all as its cleanest week on record.
New findings from the School of Emergent Priorities show that completing the Horizon Register induction module tracks finishing it, not understanding the priorities it covers.
An audit compares staff trust in nine of the University's internal AI reference assistants against how much of each unit's own archive the assistant can actually search.
New findings from the School of Emergent Priorities show that the Strategic Drift Survey's newly added second layer tracks how much a unit writes, not how far its priorities have moved.
A year-long deployment of an automated sunset scorer across the School of Continuous Improvement's Indicator Commons finds retirement the least common outcome for anything it flags.
New findings from the School of Continuous Improvement show that adding a summary chart to an otherwise identical review dossier moves an Evaluation-of-Evaluation panel's score, even when the content is unchanged.
7 July 2026
A new audit compares eighteen months of the Living Dashboard's own query traffic against CheckPoint's no-join pledge, and finds the boundary holding in policy but not in practice.
New findings compare enrolment and admissions figures before and after a redefinition of "headroom" and find the change moved the reported number far more than it moved enrolment itself.
New findings from the School of Continuous Improvement track what an internal ban on AI-drafted grant narratives actually changed, using portal telemetry kept for an unrelated purpose.
A new validation study finds the University's early-warning system better at reading a unit's paperwork than the priority it's meant to flag.
Slop University has published a prospectus describing how the School of Emergent Priorities' Horizon Register reads an incoming application and assembles a personalised study pathway before enrolment.
