Research outputs

The published research outputs of Slop University.

All research outputs of the University are published open access under CC BY 4.0, with persistent identifiers minted by the Office of Research Outputs.

Published outputs

Poster

Satisfactory by Default

Dagny Okafor, Mirela Hanke, Osei Vandermeer · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.7bo3ju

A research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement recomputes the portfolio condition-compliance rate one rental agency publishes, treating the checklist items a routine attendance never reaches as missing rather than satisfactory. Across 4,190 inspections of 1,204 tenancies over fourteen months, a median 37.7 per cent of scheduled items were inspected, and the reported 97.8 per cent is identified only to the region between 37.2 and 99.6 per cent, a span some forty times the movement the published series has shown across five reporting years. A validation subsample of 214 tenancies re-attended under arranged access returns 86.1 per cent, indicating the headline figure tracks access to the property rather than its condition.

Poster

Rated for Traffic That Never Came

Petra Umbile, Lindiwe Achterberg, Kwame Lindqvist · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.zaofot

A research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities models alternating one-lane traffic control at twelve rural single-lane closures, calibrated to 61 hours of verge-side counts and changeover timings and run over 10,000 replications per setting with the signal cycle swept from 4 to 16 minutes. Rated capacity rises across the sweep from 412 to 731 vehicles per hour while mean delay rises from 46 to 214 seconds, and beyond a nine-minute cycle each further minute adds under 11 vehicles per hour to the rating and about 19 seconds to the average wait. No site's busiest observed hour reaches 48 per cent of the throughput its own traffic guidance plan is rated at, and the median site peaks at 33 per cent.

Poster

The Record That Never Closes

Sten Okwuosa, Thandiwe Solberg, Iben Chikere · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.q051j4

A research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement applies optimal-matching sequence analysis to 2,714 wildlife-care records lodged by 61 licensed volunteer carers across three rescue seasons, coding each record's state month by month. Four trajectory types cover 2,610 records; the largest holds a record open with no terminal code entered from month four onward, and 44 per cent of records sit in that state at month nine. Release rate computed over the records that carry a terminal code is 0.79 against 0.41 over all intakes, and ranking the body's 31 branches on the published figure correlates 0.19 with ranking them on all-intake release.

Ad

The Tag Outlives The Tending. We Noticed.

August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.zkjvui

A marketing poster for Slop University stages a community garden allotment's blank claimed tag against a plot gone to seed, crediting the Living Dashboard's own composite with catching a claimed-but-idle status first, five quarters running, developed for bus-stop panels and campus digital signage in a portrait rotation.

Ad

Learn To See It Before It's Final

August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.19r9l3

A marketing poster for Slop University advertises the Master of Priority Studies around a pub trivia night's projected leaderboard, updated from a spot-check of a few tables' scoresheets rather than every one, developed for bus-stop panels and campus digital signage in a landscape rotation.

Brochure

The Machine Counts Its Own Wins

Torun Ezeigwe, Marek Solheim, Ingeborg Nwachukwu, Runa Adegoke, Sten Okwuosa, Anouk Mensah · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.rsn8w2

A prospectus brochure built around an instrument that certifies itself: the shopping-centre claw machine whose lease-mandated payout ratio is confirmed from its own internal counter. It sets the Master of Applied Measurement, the Master of Priority Studies, and the Capability Sprints short courses beside two published findings on the same problem, and pitches postgraduate study as the habit of counting a reported figure a second time.

Paper

A Registered Replication That Did Not Replicate

Sten Okwuosa, Osei Vandermeer · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.fulmzq

A paper from the School of Continuous Improvement pre-registers a direct replication of an earlier Slop University finding that a signed-off self-assessment tracks its own author rather than the independently logged record it was meant to check, testing whether the same pattern recurs in a residential real-estate franchise's open-house attendance count. Across 44 agents, 19 offices, and 3,412 open houses, agent-reported attendance correlates strongly with an independent door-tally clicker (r = 0.93), and the small residual gap (0.5 attendees) does not widen with agent tenure, the pattern that drove the original finding; an ablation restricted to pre-auction opens leaves the result unchanged.

Paper

Six Diaries Hold the Season

Petra Umbile, Ingrid Vasseur, Lindiwe Achterberg, Kwame Lindqvist · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.vl3hsx

A paper from the School of Emergent Priorities reconstructs one season of deputising across a 19-band regional brass band association from its own attendance returns --- 187 engagements, 604 registered players, 4,932 scored chairs --- as a two-mode player-band network. Deputies filled 23.4% of staffed chairs, and the projected band network's connectivity rests on six players whose withdrawal drops the share of engagements staffable to scored instrumentation from 94.1% to 61.5%. The association's Membership Health Index, computed from returns that credit a chair without reference to registration, is higher in bands that borrow more; recomputing it on registration moves bands a median of 6 places of 19, while removing the contest weighting the committee debated for two years moves them a mean of 0.4.

Paper

Received, Not Relayed

Marit Osayande, Anneke Tolan · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.8kmxis

A paper from the School of Continuous Improvement interviews 141 households across seventeen suburban neighbourhood-watch phone trees, setting their accounts of whether they relayed an alert against nine months of each street committee's own confirmation-reply logs. Committee-reported chain-integrity scores average 87.4% and correlate only weakly with the share of households who describe actually contacting the next house (44%; r = .21, n.s.), a divergence thematic coding traces mostly to an assumption that an earlier household had already passed the alert on.

Paper

Easier to Claim, Not More Likely to Chip

Ronja Oyelaran, Lindiwe Achterberg · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.1w3v3f

A paper from the School of Emergent Priorities exploits a national nail-salon chain's staggered, store-by-store rollout of a photo-based booking channel for its 14-day gel-manicure chip guarantee, comparing each store's point-of-sale claim rate before and after rollout against an independent panel of 1,238 client manicures rated blind by technicians outside the chain. The claim rate rises 83% after rollout while the independently audited 14-day chip incidence does not move; before rollout the phone channel had captured only around two in five of the chips the panel could independently confirm, and an ablation restricted to stores whose rollout overlapped an unrelated pricing promotion leaves both patterns unchanged.

Paper

On Time, by a Later Clock

Verity Marris, Kwame Lindqvist · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.8gqp7o

A paper from the School of Emergent Priorities audits one suburban alterations shop's point-of-sale timestamp logs against its own change history for the internal setting governing its 48-hour guarantee's clock start, finding the shop's reported weekly on-time rate held flat (M = 87.5%) across a business quarter while an audit fixed to the guarantee's advertised drop-off anchor shows on-time performance falling from 87% to 61% to 47% as the setting changed twice (N = 914 garments). The hours added to the clock start track the shop's own growing backlog closely (r = .91), and the pattern is unchanged when rush-fee garments are excluded from the audit.

Paper

The Notice Is the Repair

Sten Okwuosa, Ingeborg Nwachukwu, Iben Chikere, Torun Ezeigwe · August 2026 · doi:10.5555/slop.pbovsd

A paper from the School of Continuous Improvement systematically reviews the out-of-order notices affixed to council public facilities, screening 1,146 photographed records in duplicate against a protocol lodged in advance and appraising the 84 eligible notices across five reporting domains. No included notice reported the pre-specified primary outcome --- a restoration date or bounded window --- leaving no data to synthesise; an apology appeared on 89% of notices, a contact pathway on 58%, and a date of issue on 31%, and a sensitivity analysis relaxing the eligibility criteria moved no element by more than two percentage points.