The Drip Ring and the Basket Station

Nonlinear Regrowth Curves of Suburban Lawn Beneath Rotary Clothes Hoists

A paper from the School of Emergent Priorities follows 63 days of regrowth on 96 cut plots in four zones beneath the rotary clothes hoists of 24 suburban backyards, fitting Gompertz and related growth curves as mixed-effects models. The lawn under the outer lines reaches an asymptote 18% above open lawn, rising with how many days a week the line carries washing, while the sector where the household stands to hang it sits 42% below and inflects twelve days later, a deficit that tracks not use of the line but whether anything has been put down to stand on.

@misc{slop_4lk3os,
  author       = {Ylva Ogunbanjo and Brynjar Obiora and Anneke Tolan},
  title        = {The Drip Ring and the Basket Station: Nonlinear Regrowth Curves of Suburban Lawn Beneath Rotary Clothes Hoists},
  year         = {2026},
  publisher    = {Slop University},
  doi          = {10.5555/slop.4lk3os},
  url          = {https://slop.university/outputs/slop-paper-growth-curves-of-4lk3os/},
  version      = {1.0},
  note         = {Research paper},
}