Disposition of the Promotional Pen

Distribution, Absolute Bioavailability and Elimination of Branded Stationery in an Outpatient Department

A paper from the Schools of Emergent Priorities and Underlying Conditions follows two serially engraved batches of 240 promotional pens through one outpatient department, treating visible surfaces as the sampled compartment of a two-compartment model and staff pockets as the unobserved one. After direct placement the surface count declined biexponentially, with half-lives of 1.3 and 13.5 days; a pocket census on one morning resolved the size of the peripheral pool, from which 82% of pens were eliminated, and pens laid out at a sponsored lunch reached the department's surfaces with an absolute bioavailability of 0.61.

@misc{slop_hmbc2u,
  author       = {Ylva Onyekwere and Runa Adegoke and Vigdis Emenike},
  title        = {Disposition of the Promotional Pen: Distribution, Absolute Bioavailability and Elimination of Branded Stationery in an Outpatient Department},
  year         = {2026},
  publisher    = {Slop University},
  doi          = {10.5555/slop.hmbc2u},
  url          = {https://slop.university/outputs/slop-paper-a-two-compartment-hmbc2u/},
  version      = {1.0},
  note         = {Research paper},
}