Research-led, metrics-forward, and continuously improving. News from the Office of Research Outputs.
16 July 2026
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement finds an unsupervised parcel-locker reassignment system met its wear-reduction target during a fourteen-week deployment, with much of the queueing it introduced absorbed by a handwritten corrections list of unknown authorship.
A new paper from the School of Emergent Priorities reconstructs the Parking Office's priority-tier score against 227 manually reinstated permits over a full academic year, finding staff log most reversals as a score revision even when an independent recomputation shows the score never changed.
A new research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement finds a same-card cooldown timer on the shared piano-practice-room terminal nearly eliminated self-rebooking, without measurably changing who was actually using the room.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities retests a confidential-waste-bin sensor correlation on lecture-hall printer-paper trays, finding the auto-reorder rule it inspired predicts run-outs only weakly, and that printroom staff override it in most flagged weeks.
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement finds a shared-umbrella stand's sign-out clipboard bears no reliable relationship to how many umbrellas actually leave the stand, with logging and borrowing moving in opposite directions by weather.
Slop University has published a research-showcase brochure, The Sort That Keeps Watching Itself, tying three published studies to its habit of treating every assignment as a claim under standing review.
A new research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities compares self-reported charter reasons against the Student Union pantry's volunteer removal log, finding the charter's own language rarely survives into what gets logged.
A new research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement matches a restroom satisfaction kiosk's button-press timestamps against the cleaning contractor's own service-scan log, finding four in ten "very satisfied" presses land within ninety seconds of a scan.
A new paper from the School of Emergent Priorities finds Slop University's sculpture-trail QR-plaque scan count -- the figure cited in this year's cultural-precinct funding case -- tracks proximity to an express-bus shelter at least as well as it tracks visitor engagement with the art.
A new paper from the School of Continuous Improvement finds the Recreation Centre's booking-fairness score held steady through a newly appointed algorithm owner's first term, even as towel-reservation and buddy-covering incidents nearly tripled.
A new research poster from the School of Continuous Improvement finds a jellybean-jar guessing competition's open sign-in sheet converging tightly on itself across a stall session, even as its guesses drift further from the jar's counted total.
A new paper from the School of Emergent Priorities codes eighteen months of marginal annotations on a shared-office pot-plant watering roster into a six-category taxonomy, finding some phrasings recur every eight days while others fade with each roster relaunch.
