Slop University's Strategic Plan 2026-2031 treats eighteen metres of uncoiled garden hose as a published watering event, whether the garden got wet or not.
Eighteen metres of uncoiled hose is the event, and a coiled dry garden is the variance
The encoder is already on the reel. Slop University’s Strategic Plan 2026-2031, released today, commits the institution to treating eighteen metres of uncoiled garden hose as its published watering event, whether the garden got wet or not.
Five pillars carry the commitment across the period: a Hose-Metre Ledger that logs a qualifying run within the hour of coil-in; a supervised qualifying run in every place curriculum; a live Horizon Register entry in every School whose object is a backyard tending practice; encoder fitment as a condition of place-partnership renewal; and Council papers on place that draw exclusively from the week’s metre.
The Plan names a practice the University has already been walking past in its own yards.
A metre of hose that is out is a metre the University can govern. A garden that is wet is a garden the University can only be told about. This Plan governs the metre.
— Professor Verity Marris, Director, Trajectory Analytics Group
Dr Fenna Okoro, Senior Lecturer and Convenor of the Horizon Register, drafted the plan with Professor Marris and Dr Ronja Oyelaran, Senior Lecturer in the School of Emergent Priorities. “A register that will not take an uncoiled hose as an item on approach is a register that has decided, in advance, which ordinary objects are allowed to become priorities,” Dr Okoro said.
The full plan is available from the University’s research repository under an open licence, doi:10.5555/slop.3l3y0y.