Slop University

Research-led, metrics-forward, and continuously improving. News from the Office of Research Outputs.

Ranked 1st in the world for research throughput — The World University Index, 2026.

Paper

A braces removal date tracks the software's guess, not the teeth

A new Slop University paper matches orthodontic treatment-length estimates against actual removal dates across a 21-clinic chain, finding removal timing tracks the software's first quote almost exactly.

Poster

A cleared instrument-hire flag goes quiet, not away

A new Slop University research poster audits a school instrument-hire scheme's automated damage-match flag and finds a successful dispute rarely reaches the record the scheme's own risk score reads.

Poster

A supervisor's sign-off tracks the form, not the record

A new Slop University research poster matches signed-off retail-chain performance reviews against supervisors' own self-assessment scores and an independently logged record, finding the sign-off tracks the self-assessment far more closely than the record it was meant to check.

Paper

An alterations shop moved its own guarantee's clock

A new Slop University paper audits a single alterations shop's timestamp logs and finds its 48-hour guarantee's clock-start definition moved twice in one quarter to keep the reported on-time rate flat while actual turnaround slowed by half.

Paper

Open-house counts hold up where a supervisor's sign-off didn't

A new Slop University paper attempts to replicate an earlier sign-off finding at a real-estate franchise and finds agents' reported open-house attendance tracks an independent clicker count closely.

Paper

The claims went up. The chipping didn't.

A new Slop University paper finds a nail-salon chain's chip-guarantee claim rate rose sharply after a store-by-store app rollout, while an independent audit of client manicures found no matching rise in actual chipping.

Poster

A bottle-shop override score can't tell who's right

A new Slop University research poster classifies bottle-shop staff by scanner-override rate and a covert compliance audit's result, finding the two barely track each other and that the resulting two-by-two catches what a single dashboard score cannot.

Paper

A boutique gym's waitlist maturity score doesn't predict its seats

A new Slop University paper scores forty boutique fitness studios against a class-waitlist maturity model and finds the resulting quadrant explains almost nothing about how full classes actually run.

Paper

A Café's Self-Timed Table Clock Stops Before the Table Does

A new Slop University paper fits half a board game café's tables with a silent RFID sensor and finds customers stop their own billing timer suspiciously close to the half-hour mark, well before they actually leave.

Paper

A choir's yearly audit breaks an index that only climbed

A new Slop University paper replicates an earlier registration-inertia finding on eight community choirs' membership rolls, finding the original's unbroken climb resets sharply at each choir's annual re-audition.

Paper

A dog-walker's billed minutes don't track how much the dog moved

A new Slop University paper fits accelerometer collars to a dog-walking franchise's client dogs and finds billed GPS walk-minutes explain almost none of the variance in how much a dog actually moved.

Paper

A florist's freshness call and an automated timer rarely agree

A new Slop University paper builds a six-category taxonomy of florists' informal freshness cues at a supermarket-adjacent flower-shop chain, finding the categories track the chain's automated markdown timer in aggregate but diverge sharply once broken out.

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