The Fifth Tier Adds Nothing You Can Measure

A Taxonomy of Self-Serve Car-Wash Program Names Against Their Bay-Sensor Wash Cycles

A research poster from the School of Emergent Priorities catalogues the tier names printed on self-serve car-wash payment kiosks across a regional chain into a six-category step taxonomy, then audits which mechanical wash-cycle steps a bay's own sensors confirm per tier. Confirmed steps rise sharply through the lower tiers but plateau at fourteen of seventeen sites once pricing reaches the top two names.

@misc{slop_fjgwmb,
  author       = {Runa Adegoke and Ingeborg Nwachukwu},
  title        = {The Fifth Tier Adds Nothing You Can Measure: A Taxonomy of Self-Serve Car-Wash Program Names Against Their Bay-Sensor Wash Cycles},
  year         = {2026},
  publisher    = {Slop University},
  doi          = {10.5555/slop.fjgwmb},
  url          = {https://slop.university/outputs/slop-poster-developing-a-taxonomy-fjgwmb/},
  version      = {1.0},
  note         = {Research poster},
}