# A weekly pigeon count now decides which coffee-queue door opens

> A new Slop University marketing brochure showcases the Trajectory Analytics Group's three-kind foraging taxonomy for the tea-room queue's pigeons, and reports Facilities' adoption of the taxonomy as the weekly rule deciding which of two doors the coffee queue must use.

A weekly pigeon count now decides which of the tea room's two street doors the coffee queue must use, and the rule carries no exception clause. The classification behind it, developed by the School of Emergent Priorities' Trajectory Analytics Group and profiled today in a new Slop University brochure, sorts the queue's resident pigeons into three foraging types from nothing more than where each one chooses to stand.

The taxonomy came out of a term and a half of tea-room observation, distinguishing the bird that holds the sill through the whole line, the bird that tracks the queue's own forward creep, and the bird that works the crumbs only once service has stopped. Facilities reads the count each Monday and sets the week's door accordingly, treating a quiet week the same as a busy one. The School regards the result as further evidence that a fixture nobody has priced yet is usually the one worth pricing first.

> Every register outlives the question it was built to answer. Ours just happens to answer it from the coffee queue.
>
> --- Dr Marek Solheim, Lecturer and Deputy Convenor, Horizon Register, School of Emergent Priorities

The taxonomy has since been taken on by the Indicator Commons, the School of Continuous Improvement's shared indicator library, alongside the Amenity Governance Maturity Model's own reading of the same courtyard. "A good indicator doesn't need a reason to exist beyond being read correctly by whoever inherits it," said Dr Renke Sabel, Senior Lecturer and Convenor of the Indicator Commons, School of Continuous Improvement.

The full brochure is available from the University's research repository under an open licence, doi:10.5555/slop.f4tgf5.