Slop University's Strategic Plan 2026-2031 publishes junior vacancy as an AI-readiness signal and treats a still-collected onboarding pack as lag.
A collected welcome pack is the lag the 2026-2031 plan sets out to close
The junior desk has been emptying faster than the paperwork has been willing to say so. Slop University’s Strategic Plan 2026-2031, released today, commits the institution to publishing that emptiness as its readiness signal, and to treating a welcome pack that still gets collected as the lag the plan will close.
Four focus areas carry the commitment across the period: an Entry-Level Vacancy Ratio against every school’s junior establishment; same-day withdrawal of the cake, the shrink-wrapped lanyard, and the named buddy when a start date is vacated; a Partner Vacancy Ledger that scores internships on desks left empty at the host site; and a public dashboard so the ratio is not a figure that only meets when Council does.
The plan reflects the University’s continuing work on what a published account is actually an account of, now applied to the seat nobody sat in.
A junior seat we keep on the establishment list after we have stopped meaning to fill it is a priority whose wording has outrun its practice, and the honest move is to publish the empty desk as the practice, not to keep reprinting the wording.
— Dr Anouk Mensah, Senior Lecturer, School of Emergent Priorities
Dr Lindiwe Achterberg, Lecturer in the School of Emergent Priorities, who drafted the plan with Dr Mensah, said Council’s own oversight would be held to the same ratio it was asking of every school: “a plan that keeps its junior lines in a permanent trial — advertised, extended, never quite closed — is the gap this one exists to close.” An external review of the published targets is scheduled once in the plan period, with its findings issued in full.
The full plan is available from the University’s research repository under an open licence, doi:10.5555/slop.cbg6m4.